


and without you, I am no more.

by toadpot



Series: black and all the shades inbetween [5]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Heavy Angst, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), No Incest, Regulus Black Needs a Hug, Sirius Black Needs a Hug, The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black, Walburga Black's A+ Parenting, i HATE canon, this is so upseting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-13 14:29:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28529970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toadpot/pseuds/toadpot
Summary: When Sirius left, Regulus died.
Relationships: Regulus Black & Sirius Black, Regulus Black/Sirius Black
Series: black and all the shades inbetween [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1984840
Comments: 1
Kudos: 73





	and without you, I am no more.

**Author's Note:**

> yeah.... i dunno why i did this to myself.
> 
> also the ages may not match up but idc

When Sirius left, it was a week before they were due to leave for Hogwarts. The house had been oddly silent - mother was quiet, Sirius wasn't yelling, father was tucked away in his office and Regulus acted as he always had.

He decides to go to Sirius' room, tired of the silence - wanting to fix everything between them and finally get a good night's rest (tucked up in his brother's arms).

Sirius' window was open, and he was hauling his trunk out.

"Sirius?" He questions, voice quiet but loud enough for the older brother to hear.

Sirius doesn't say anything, but turns to look at his brother. The two were eerily similar, in a way that made them look like identical twins. They had the same facial structure - Sirius' was more narrow and Regulus had more defined cheekbones, they had the same grey eyes and were even as tall as each other. However, Sirius' hair was straight (like mothers) and his own hair was curly, curls that were restrained under thick charms (like mad Bella's).

_"Stay"_ is what he wants to say, but Regulus isn't stupid - he may be 13 but he surely isn't _stupid_. 

So, instead he says: "be safe, brother." 

Sirius barks a hysterical laugh, ' _Black family madness'_ Regulus thinks ' _none of us are sane'_.

"Brother?!" He spits, like the blood that curls out of their mouths after mother's punishments, "You think you're my brother after- after all this?!" 

Regulus doesn't know what ' _all this'_ refers to (perhaps that's the problem). 

Sirius' lip is curled backwards, like the head of a snake preparing to attack - he look's strikingly like Mother. 

"You're mine." Is all Regulus says ' _sorry'_ goes unsaid, ' _you were right, i am a coward'_ goes into the silence.

"Well, _I'm_ not yours. Not as long as you call- _call_ those people your family." He jumps out of the window, and Regulus hears the soft sound of a cushioning charm, and then the crack of an apparition.

Regulus feels a part of him burn - and suddenly all the excruciating pain he felt under his Mother's punishments seem like a joke.

He moves to his room, and pulls out his book - hidden in the floorboards under his bed. It's a red book (gryffindor red) with gold accents, and each page, litters the words he wishes he would have said to his brother.

"But, I'm a coward." Is what he says to himself, writing with his quill.

' Sirius left, and with him a part of me left. My brother will survive and I will ( ~~probably die~~ ) live ' . 

* * *

When Sirius next hears of Regulus, it's 3 years later - and he's cornered into a abandoned classroom with Narcissa looking at him with haunted eyes.

"Ci- What do you want?" Is all he hisses, grey against blue.

"He's dead." Is all she says.

Sirius frowns, "who-" he cracks a smile, "good, I hated my father."

His smirk stutters against his face as tears well up in the girl's eyes, "Regulus is dead."

The smirk drops quickly, and before he can say anything else she hands him a red and gold book, "I don't know why he wants you to have this - you - you're nasty Sirius. But, he protected your name in every family meeting and it was written in his will he wanted you to have this."

She leaves, in green, silver and blonde hair.

He returns to the great hall, and sits in his usual place - beside prongs.

He glances up, towards where Regulus is usually sat.

It's empty. 

Tears well in his eyes and Prongs looks at him with concerned eyes.

He presses his robes closer to his body, and feels the press of the book.

"He's dead." 

He doesn't say anything, and never explains. 

James, Remus and Peter guide him back to the dorms - and _Merlin_ , when did he start crying?

The books digs into his ribs and he rips it out of his robes. He flicks to the last page and a strangled sob leaves his throat, ' _you were my only family, brother mine_ ' .


End file.
